I am a member of The Church  of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Lately there has been a lot of anger or hate directed at us, more so than usual. I understand those emotions because I used to parrot the same emotions. For a long time, I stood outside the church pointing fingers but never realizing that I was part of the problem. Someone once told me that in order to fix a problem, you need to be part of the solution. It has taken 20+ years to finally understand what she meant.

You see, I have this tendency, or curse, to see a siutuation from every angle. I never see anything as plain black and white. I always see varying shades of gray. I very rarely take sides because everyone is always right and everyone is always wrong. There is never an answer even in religion. This has given me growing pains on a spiritual level that to this day I struggle with on a daily basis.

I, like other members of my church, believe in personal revelation. I can and do receive inspiration to direct or guide my life. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I do not. The consequences, good or bad, are always the direct result of MY choices.  However, my personal revalation does not always match up with church doctrine and in the past I have gotten into trouble due to this; mostly kicked out of classes for questioning teachings.

I was not questioning the teachings of Christ or of God. I was questioning the interpretation and preception of human beings who had twisted God's word to match their own opionions. Honestly, I became a very angry individual and resfused to really engage with a religion that I honestly did and do love because of the people. I became part of the problem.

I then went on journey that made my faith stronger and brought me back to my beginnings. I had to embrace not only my humanity and faults but the humanity of those around me and their faults. I had to accept that my personal revelation is different from everyone else's because we are on different paths while heading towards the same direction together - an eternal life filled with peace and love.